Christmas Rant

*Let me preface this by saying I am an atheist and have zero problems with the religious aspects of the holiday if you happen to be Christian and also I'm just annoyed so yeah.*


I hate Christmas. Anyone ever watch the OC? The holidays make everything bad seem worse. Always. Doesn't matter what, they just suck. It's all family time and fake smiles and pretending that you care when really you just want to get away from the annoying assholes and go back to hating them like you do the other ninety percent of the year (excepting birthdays/other holidays, of course).

My siblings and I went to take pictures for our parents' Christmas gift the other day and the photographer kept telling us to move closer together, not to be afraid of touching. I didn't think it was physically possible to pose that close without actually touching the other person. I actually can't remember the last time I touched either of my siblings. Or my parents.

And gods, the gift giving. The gift receiving. I hate them both. I don't like the practice of giving people gifts. Nine times out of ten they'll hate the gift. But they have to hate it with a smile and pretend like it's a wonderful thoughtful gift they appreciate. And you have to do the same. I've basically given up on gifts this year. I'm making them all- food, a snow globe, homemade lotion, a scarf. They'll suck, but at least they'll suck for cheap.

I honestly don't want anything from anyone. I'm trying to talk my boyfriend out of giving gifts without straight up saying let's not exchange gifts. I don't want to deal with that shit. Fuck this holiday. Fuck the commercial bullshit and the forced family time. Fuck the shitty Christmas music that's always playing.

I'm in a cheery mood tonight.

Sorry, I'm mostly crabby because I've had an awful three day binge. Trying to get my eating back under control so I can stop hating myself. Also crabby because I haven't slept more than five hours in a row since getting off from school. And final grades are supposed to come out today, but it's after midnight and they haven't yet. I need to know so I can start lying about them to my parents (or alternatively tell them the truth if I actually did okay for once).

In more positive news, I may have gotten a freelance writing job. That's kind of terrifying, but at the same time really fantastic. I need a job and that's a splendid one. Great on my resume and writing! Also trying to get a regular job since freelance writing work is practically nothing. But to a broke college student, practically nothing is still a lot.